Sorry about the past few posts, I guess there is an issue between going from Google Drive to Blogger. That seems strange to me since they are both by Google, but what can you do? I'll try and keep up with the formatting issues so you, dear reader, will actually be able to see and read my posts.
Off to see what Santa has brought me this year. Its probably a few lumps of coal and some sticks, but even those are useful this time of year here in Minnesota.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Christmas Eve
It dawns on me, as I sit here in the lobby of a church, that I was hoping and expecting more from this holiday season. I guess I should have been more specific in that request.
I did get more than I asked for. I've been able to see my friends and family and celebrate with them. What I wasn't looking for was to become the lead matriarch, taking care of my parents and getting them ready for a move out of their home. That's a lot of stress to add to the already stressful holiday season. I'm not quite ready for this next step, but know it has to be done for the health and welfare of my parents. I’m glad that this doesn't have to be done immediately, but within the next couple of months, which is still a crazy time-frame.
So, here we are, me writing on my new kindle, enjoying the peace and quiet of the church lobby, people watching, and reflecting on the events of the past week. And you, dear reader, listening in on my thoughts and fears. Soon a new year will be upon us. Many changes are about to occur in my life and I don't feel prepared for any of them. Jen keeps telling me that as long as we're together we can get through anything. I have to believe that this is true as we have been through and dealt with a lot of crap, and are still together. She's usually the planner and worrier, but I seem to have taken that role over, at least for the time being. So, I'll try to remember that this is only temporary and to breath. I've been told that not breathing is bad and I'd have to agree with that sentiment since most of the dead people I've known don't do it anymore.
How do you handle the stress of the holidays? Is it hitting the Tom & Jerry or Eggnog a bit hard, lots of mulled wine, a book and earplugs, loud music, a warm fire and your pets? I’d love to hear your ideas of how you keep yourself sane.
Enjoy the peace and quiet of your holiday season. My wish for all of you is that you find joy and solace in your family and friends during this coming year.
I did get more than I asked for. I've been able to see my friends and family and celebrate with them. What I wasn't looking for was to become the lead matriarch, taking care of my parents and getting them ready for a move out of their home. That's a lot of stress to add to the already stressful holiday season. I'm not quite ready for this next step, but know it has to be done for the health and welfare of my parents. I’m glad that this doesn't have to be done immediately, but within the next couple of months, which is still a crazy time-frame.
So, here we are, me writing on my new kindle, enjoying the peace and quiet of the church lobby, people watching, and reflecting on the events of the past week. And you, dear reader, listening in on my thoughts and fears. Soon a new year will be upon us. Many changes are about to occur in my life and I don't feel prepared for any of them. Jen keeps telling me that as long as we're together we can get through anything. I have to believe that this is true as we have been through and dealt with a lot of crap, and are still together. She's usually the planner and worrier, but I seem to have taken that role over, at least for the time being. So, I'll try to remember that this is only temporary and to breath. I've been told that not breathing is bad and I'd have to agree with that sentiment since most of the dead people I've known don't do it anymore.
How do you handle the stress of the holidays? Is it hitting the Tom & Jerry or Eggnog a bit hard, lots of mulled wine, a book and earplugs, loud music, a warm fire and your pets? I’d love to hear your ideas of how you keep yourself sane.
Enjoy the peace and quiet of your holiday season. My wish for all of you is that you find joy and solace in your family and friends during this coming year.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Happy Holidays
NOTE: These are my own views and observations. While I don’t voice them often, I do when I see that there is a disconnect in the thinking and conversations going on around me. We need to focus on what is really important in our own lives because change comes from within. If you don't like what I have to say, well then don't listen. I’m to the point in my life that I don’t and won’t deal with that childish BS anymore. If you are still with me, then please read all the way to the end, but be warned it is long.
I've seen a lot of posts saying that we need to “bring Christmas back to America”. We don’t need to bring it back, its been here all along. What needs to happen is that we need to acknowledge that it is only one of the many religions practiced in America today and one of the minority religions on this planet.
Here’s a bit of history that maybe we have all forgotten; our nation was built on a foundation of religious and political freedom. Our forefathers were fleeing the persecution of the English monarchy when they rebelled, settled, and became an independent nation. Why should we suddenly decide that America is only for Christians? On the boat with those Christians were people with different religious views like the Quakers. They could be considered Christians, but their religion and social views are different from Catholics and Protestants. How about the Amish, Mennonites, and Mormons do we discount their views also? Do we try to abolish all religions besides our narrow definition of Christianity?
It is true that we may have become too politically correct, but that is a sign that as human beings we are continually evolving. Eventually we will find a balance, because it all works itself out in the end. It is the middle struggle that is the hardest and shows us how far we have come from our origins. That being said, it is important to understand why many of us have turned to the phrase “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. Our country is known as the “Melting Pot”; there is a diverse population celebrating many different events starting at the end of November and ending the first full week of January. No one is trying to get rid of Christmas, they are just trying to be more inclusive of those around them who celebrate different holidays during this same time-frame. Below is a list of just a few of the holidays that are celebrated alongside Christmas. (My sincere thanks to Wikipedia, Huffington Post, and a couple more helpful university blogs)
Advent: four weeks prior to Christmas (Western Christianity).Chalica: A holiday created in 2005, in the first full week in December, celebrated by some Unitarian Universalists.
Saint Nicholas' Day: 6 DecemberAshura: the 10th day of the first month on the Islamic calendar. Sunnis, the largest group of Muslims, remember that the Prophet Muhammad fasted in solidarity with Jews who were observing Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Shiites recall the death of Muhammad's grandson in battle, an event that led to their differences with the Sunnis.Festivus for the Rest of Us: If you don’t celebrate any of the above holidays, but don’t want to feel left out, you could start commemorating Festivus, the December holiday invented by Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. Instead of a Christmas tree there is a pole, which is central to the “airing of grievances” between family members. There is also a “feats of strength” component, which could be fun. You can see clips from the “Festivus” episode on You Tube.Bodhi Day: 8 December - Day of Enlightenment, celebrating the day that the historical Buddha (Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Gautama) experienced enlightenment (also known as Bodhi).Eid al-Adha: The Festival of Sacrifice: this Muslim holiday honours Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son to God. One of the two most important holidays in Islam, it follows the Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca). People who observe this holiday dress in their finest clothes, visit family, eat festive meals, and children receive gifts and treats.Our Lady of Guadalupe: 12 December - An important honor of Mexico's Patron Saint before Christmas officially begins on December 16thLas Posadas: 16 December -24 December - procession to various family lodgings for celebration & prayer and to re-enact Mary & Joseph's journey to BethlehemSaint Lucia's Day: 13 December - Church Feast Day. Saint Lucia comes as a young woman with lights and sweets.Winter Solstice: 21 December-22 December - midwinterDongzhi Festival - a celebration of WinterSoyal: 21 December - Zuni and HopiYalda: 21 December - The turning point, Winter Solstice. As the longest night of the year and the beginning of the lengthening of days, Shabe Yaldā or Shabe Chelle is an Iranian festival celebrating the victory of light and goodness over darkness and evil. Shabe yalda means 'birthday eve.' According to Persian mythology, Mithra was born at dawn on the 22nd of December to a virgin mother. He symbolizes light, truth, goodness, strength, and friendship. Herodotus reports that this was the most important holiday of the year for contemporary Persians. In modern times Persians celebrate Yalda by staying up late or all night, a practice known as Shab Chera meaning 'night gazing'. Fruits and nuts are eaten, especially pomegranates and watermelons, whose red color invokes the crimson hues of dawn and symbolize Mithra.Mōdraniht: or Mothers' Night, the Saxon winter solstice festival.Saturnalia: the Roman winter solstice festivalPancha Ganapati: Five-day festival in honor of Lord Ganesha. December 21–25. Celebrated by Hindus in USA.Festivus: 23 DecemberKrampusnacht: 24 DecemberChristmas Eve: 24 DecemberDies Natalis Solis Invicti (Day of the birth of the Unconquered Sun): late Roman Empire - 25 DecemberChristmas: 25 DecemberTwelve Days of Christmas: 25 December through 6 JanuaryYule / Midwinter / Alban Arthan / Winter Solstice (Pagan, Wiccan, Druid): The longest night of the year followed by the sun's "rebirth" and lengthening of days. In most traditions, Yule is celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God, who is viewed as the newborn solstice sun. Some pagans consider Yule to be the beginning of the new year. One of the eight major annual sabbats or festivals. General Practices: Burning the yule log (which was traditionally part of last year’s yule tree) is an act of faith and renewal that, indeed, the light, and the warmth will return.Anastasia of Sirmium Feast Day: 25 DecemberMalkh: 25 DecemberBoxing Day: 26 December - Gift-giving day after Christmas.Kwanzaa: 26 December - 1 January - Pan-African festival celebrated in North AmericaSaint Stephen's Day: 26 DecemberDec. 26, Zoroastrians observe the death of the prophet Zarathushtra, known in the West as Zoroaster. Tradition says he lived in what is now Iran in about 1200 B.C. His teachings include the idea of one eternal God; seven powerful creations: sky, water, earth, plants, animals, humans and fire; and that life is a struggle between good and evil.Saint John the Evangelist's Day: 27 DecemberHoly Innocents' Day: 28 DecemberSaint Sylvester's Day: 31 DecemberWatch Night: 31 DecemberNew Year's Eve: 31 December - Last day of the Gregorian yearHogmanay: Night of 31 December - Before dawn of 1 January - Scottish New Year's Eve celebrationHanukkah: A Jewish festival celebrating the miracle of oil.Gantan-sai (Shinto): Gantan-sai is the annual New Year festival of the Shinto religion. General Practices: Practitioners pray for inner renewal, prosperity, and health, as well as visiting shrines and visiting friends and family.Epiphany / Twelfth Night / Three Kings Day (Christian / Roman Catholic and Protestant): This date is also known as Befana Day; commemorates the revelation of God through Jesus Christ and marks the time the three wise men arrived in Bethlehem and presented gifts to the baby Jesus. General Practices: Prayer, festive meals, offerings, gifts.Christmas (Eastern Orthodox Christian): Christmas is an annual celebration commemorating the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah whose message and self-sacrifice began the Christian religion. General Practices: Many celebrate this holiday by attending church services, holding celebratory meals, and visiting family. Date details: Eastern Orthodox Christmas is determined by the Julian calendar which regulates ceremonial cycle of the Eastern Orthodox Christian churches.
So, when I say, “Happy Holidays” to you, what I am actually saying is, “Whatever Holiday you choose to celebrate during this season, I hope that it is a joyous time for you and your family.” My friends are from different ethnic and religious backgrounds and this is my way of including their holidays with the Christmas season. In the end, what we need to remember is “the reason for the season”. It is a time of renewed hope, joy, thanksgiving, love, and spending special time with our family and friends.
To all of you still here,
I wish you a joyous, safe, and beautiful Holiday Season whatever your beliefs. May you enjoy the little moments as much as the big ones for that what our lives are made up of.
Happy DohlstiChrismaKwanakahal-sai to each and everyone!
I've seen a lot of posts saying that we need to “bring Christmas back to America”. We don’t need to bring it back, its been here all along. What needs to happen is that we need to acknowledge that it is only one of the many religions practiced in America today and one of the minority religions on this planet.
Here’s a bit of history that maybe we have all forgotten; our nation was built on a foundation of religious and political freedom. Our forefathers were fleeing the persecution of the English monarchy when they rebelled, settled, and became an independent nation. Why should we suddenly decide that America is only for Christians? On the boat with those Christians were people with different religious views like the Quakers. They could be considered Christians, but their religion and social views are different from Catholics and Protestants. How about the Amish, Mennonites, and Mormons do we discount their views also? Do we try to abolish all religions besides our narrow definition of Christianity?
It is true that we may have become too politically correct, but that is a sign that as human beings we are continually evolving. Eventually we will find a balance, because it all works itself out in the end. It is the middle struggle that is the hardest and shows us how far we have come from our origins. That being said, it is important to understand why many of us have turned to the phrase “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. Our country is known as the “Melting Pot”; there is a diverse population celebrating many different events starting at the end of November and ending the first full week of January. No one is trying to get rid of Christmas, they are just trying to be more inclusive of those around them who celebrate different holidays during this same time-frame. Below is a list of just a few of the holidays that are celebrated alongside Christmas. (My sincere thanks to Wikipedia, Huffington Post, and a couple more helpful university blogs)
Advent: four weeks prior to Christmas (Western Christianity).Chalica: A holiday created in 2005, in the first full week in December, celebrated by some Unitarian Universalists.
Saint Nicholas' Day: 6 DecemberAshura: the 10th day of the first month on the Islamic calendar. Sunnis, the largest group of Muslims, remember that the Prophet Muhammad fasted in solidarity with Jews who were observing Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Shiites recall the death of Muhammad's grandson in battle, an event that led to their differences with the Sunnis.Festivus for the Rest of Us: If you don’t celebrate any of the above holidays, but don’t want to feel left out, you could start commemorating Festivus, the December holiday invented by Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. Instead of a Christmas tree there is a pole, which is central to the “airing of grievances” between family members. There is also a “feats of strength” component, which could be fun. You can see clips from the “Festivus” episode on You Tube.Bodhi Day: 8 December - Day of Enlightenment, celebrating the day that the historical Buddha (Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Gautama) experienced enlightenment (also known as Bodhi).Eid al-Adha: The Festival of Sacrifice: this Muslim holiday honours Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son to God. One of the two most important holidays in Islam, it follows the Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca). People who observe this holiday dress in their finest clothes, visit family, eat festive meals, and children receive gifts and treats.Our Lady of Guadalupe: 12 December - An important honor of Mexico's Patron Saint before Christmas officially begins on December 16thLas Posadas: 16 December -24 December - procession to various family lodgings for celebration & prayer and to re-enact Mary & Joseph's journey to BethlehemSaint Lucia's Day: 13 December - Church Feast Day. Saint Lucia comes as a young woman with lights and sweets.Winter Solstice: 21 December-22 December - midwinterDongzhi Festival - a celebration of WinterSoyal: 21 December - Zuni and HopiYalda: 21 December - The turning point, Winter Solstice. As the longest night of the year and the beginning of the lengthening of days, Shabe Yaldā or Shabe Chelle is an Iranian festival celebrating the victory of light and goodness over darkness and evil. Shabe yalda means 'birthday eve.' According to Persian mythology, Mithra was born at dawn on the 22nd of December to a virgin mother. He symbolizes light, truth, goodness, strength, and friendship. Herodotus reports that this was the most important holiday of the year for contemporary Persians. In modern times Persians celebrate Yalda by staying up late or all night, a practice known as Shab Chera meaning 'night gazing'. Fruits and nuts are eaten, especially pomegranates and watermelons, whose red color invokes the crimson hues of dawn and symbolize Mithra.Mōdraniht: or Mothers' Night, the Saxon winter solstice festival.Saturnalia: the Roman winter solstice festivalPancha Ganapati: Five-day festival in honor of Lord Ganesha. December 21–25. Celebrated by Hindus in USA.Festivus: 23 DecemberKrampusnacht: 24 DecemberChristmas Eve: 24 DecemberDies Natalis Solis Invicti (Day of the birth of the Unconquered Sun): late Roman Empire - 25 DecemberChristmas: 25 DecemberTwelve Days of Christmas: 25 December through 6 JanuaryYule / Midwinter / Alban Arthan / Winter Solstice (Pagan, Wiccan, Druid): The longest night of the year followed by the sun's "rebirth" and lengthening of days. In most traditions, Yule is celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God, who is viewed as the newborn solstice sun. Some pagans consider Yule to be the beginning of the new year. One of the eight major annual sabbats or festivals. General Practices: Burning the yule log (which was traditionally part of last year’s yule tree) is an act of faith and renewal that, indeed, the light, and the warmth will return.Anastasia of Sirmium Feast Day: 25 DecemberMalkh: 25 DecemberBoxing Day: 26 December - Gift-giving day after Christmas.Kwanzaa: 26 December - 1 January - Pan-African festival celebrated in North AmericaSaint Stephen's Day: 26 DecemberDec. 26, Zoroastrians observe the death of the prophet Zarathushtra, known in the West as Zoroaster. Tradition says he lived in what is now Iran in about 1200 B.C. His teachings include the idea of one eternal God; seven powerful creations: sky, water, earth, plants, animals, humans and fire; and that life is a struggle between good and evil.Saint John the Evangelist's Day: 27 DecemberHoly Innocents' Day: 28 DecemberSaint Sylvester's Day: 31 DecemberWatch Night: 31 DecemberNew Year's Eve: 31 December - Last day of the Gregorian yearHogmanay: Night of 31 December - Before dawn of 1 January - Scottish New Year's Eve celebrationHanukkah: A Jewish festival celebrating the miracle of oil.Gantan-sai (Shinto): Gantan-sai is the annual New Year festival of the Shinto religion. General Practices: Practitioners pray for inner renewal, prosperity, and health, as well as visiting shrines and visiting friends and family.Epiphany / Twelfth Night / Three Kings Day (Christian / Roman Catholic and Protestant): This date is also known as Befana Day; commemorates the revelation of God through Jesus Christ and marks the time the three wise men arrived in Bethlehem and presented gifts to the baby Jesus. General Practices: Prayer, festive meals, offerings, gifts.Christmas (Eastern Orthodox Christian): Christmas is an annual celebration commemorating the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah whose message and self-sacrifice began the Christian religion. General Practices: Many celebrate this holiday by attending church services, holding celebratory meals, and visiting family. Date details: Eastern Orthodox Christmas is determined by the Julian calendar which regulates ceremonial cycle of the Eastern Orthodox Christian churches.
So, when I say, “Happy Holidays” to you, what I am actually saying is, “Whatever Holiday you choose to celebrate during this season, I hope that it is a joyous time for you and your family.” My friends are from different ethnic and religious backgrounds and this is my way of including their holidays with the Christmas season. In the end, what we need to remember is “the reason for the season”. It is a time of renewed hope, joy, thanksgiving, love, and spending special time with our family and friends.
To all of you still here,
I wish you a joyous, safe, and beautiful Holiday Season whatever your beliefs. May you enjoy the little moments as much as the big ones for that what our lives are made up of.
Happy DohlstiChrismaKwanakahal-sai to each and everyone!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
One day
I know that one day, my Dad won't be here anymore. I keep this mantra in the back of my mind when things are getting rough. You see, he's been through a lot in the past 20 years and his health is in serious decline. The hard part is that cognitively he is also headed downhill.That same vibrant guy who was my Dad, isn't anymore, now he is a grumpy, stubborn old man, much like his father.
My Dad has been put through the ringer. Most of my life he was as healthy as an ox and as stubborn as a mule. He's got Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, prostate cancer, peripheral nueropathy, diabetes, and atrial fibrillation, and that's just the start. There have been several rounds of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation to slow down the growth of the cancer. Unfortunately, all of this has had an effect on his health; causing heart deterioration, decreased blood flow to his extremities, lowered immunity, and memory issues. He's had half a foot amputated, a pace-maker/defibrillator implanted, and seen more doctors, specialists, and hospitals than most people see in their entire lifetime.
All these have health issues have adversely affected him. I remember in elementary school, he would sit in his recliner and I would sit at his feet and we would go through the Readers Digest Word Challenge. He'd read the word and the three possible definitions and I would try to figure out which was the correct one. I learned how to navigate anywhere and know where the car is parked innately because of him: instead of the directions uphill is North, downhill is South, right turn is East, and left turn is West. Now, he doesn't remember what he said five minutes ago and isn't able to get us to the car from a store in the mall. Dad is always tired and spends most of his time in the recliner napping or watching TV, that's when he isn't at doctors appointments.
Dad has also gotten more stubborn and grumpy. He used to have a great sense of humor and was pretty funny. Now, he's the only one who thinks his jibes are humorous, the rest of us find them mean-spirited and ill-timed. Little by little, he is becoming a child again, throwing tantrums and pouting when he doesn't get his way.So, its difficult to temper the person I see in front of me with the father I grew up with.
I know he isn't coming back, but in some form my Dad is still here. Each day I will try to remember that it is the illnesses and not him that are causing these unfiltered reactions. I'll remind myself that he is struggling in his own way as much as we are in our dealings with him. And above all, he is still my Dad, so I will do my best to make the most out of each moment we have together.
My Dad has been put through the ringer. Most of my life he was as healthy as an ox and as stubborn as a mule. He's got Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, prostate cancer, peripheral nueropathy, diabetes, and atrial fibrillation, and that's just the start. There have been several rounds of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation to slow down the growth of the cancer. Unfortunately, all of this has had an effect on his health; causing heart deterioration, decreased blood flow to his extremities, lowered immunity, and memory issues. He's had half a foot amputated, a pace-maker/defibrillator implanted, and seen more doctors, specialists, and hospitals than most people see in their entire lifetime.
All these have health issues have adversely affected him. I remember in elementary school, he would sit in his recliner and I would sit at his feet and we would go through the Readers Digest Word Challenge. He'd read the word and the three possible definitions and I would try to figure out which was the correct one. I learned how to navigate anywhere and know where the car is parked innately because of him: instead of the directions uphill is North, downhill is South, right turn is East, and left turn is West. Now, he doesn't remember what he said five minutes ago and isn't able to get us to the car from a store in the mall. Dad is always tired and spends most of his time in the recliner napping or watching TV, that's when he isn't at doctors appointments.
Dad has also gotten more stubborn and grumpy. He used to have a great sense of humor and was pretty funny. Now, he's the only one who thinks his jibes are humorous, the rest of us find them mean-spirited and ill-timed. Little by little, he is becoming a child again, throwing tantrums and pouting when he doesn't get his way.So, its difficult to temper the person I see in front of me with the father I grew up with.
I know he isn't coming back, but in some form my Dad is still here. Each day I will try to remember that it is the illnesses and not him that are causing these unfiltered reactions. I'll remind myself that he is struggling in his own way as much as we are in our dealings with him. And above all, he is still my Dad, so I will do my best to make the most out of each moment we have together.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Stigma and acceptance
This was on CNN this weekend. It's something that needs to be more in people's vision and hearing. We are out here, it is real, and we desperately need the help & support of others.
Not all of us go on killing sprees, in fact most of us would prefer to be left alone and kill ourselves to get rid of the pain and problems we feel we cause to those around us. Understanding and education are the keys to helping those with mental illness. Laying blame on the mentally ill or a family member only hurts them and lessens the chance that medical and psychological treatment will be sought.
Stop the stigma and start the discussion.
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/12/health/mentally-ill-son/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Just go away
Today is a day to crawl back into bed, close my eyes, and wish the world would go away. It seems that the reality of our financial situation has finally sunk in and I feel helpless and useless about how to change it.
It's going to be a not so merry Christmas around our home. To think that I got excited about getting a small set of Hot Wheels and an Orbeez lamp, on sale with my holiday gift check, makes me sad. Knowing that it is only going to get worse before it gets better has me hiding in bed with the dogs, crying in frustration.
We'll have to wait and see what the coming days bring, but I predict lots more tears and emotional struggles ahead. Thank goodness I can blog from bed on my phone, as a normal journal would not be able to withstand this puddle of tears.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Just a little post
So, my current device for blogging is a Kindle Fire. It is on its way back to Amazon so I can upgrade to the newer HDX. That would be why I have not been posting. As much as I love my new phone, it's not all that great for writing posts. Soon I'll be up and running again. Thanks for your patience!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
A reason to give thanks
On today of all days, everyone should be grateful for all that they have. This Thanksgiving, there are many things that I am glad to have or be a part of. It is a time for reflection: of things lost and gained. Even though some of these make me sad, others make me just glad that I am alive.
Today I am most thankful for the support of family and close friends. Jen’s unconditional love and support these past 15 years, especially the past 5, has been very important to me. Without them I don’t think I would have made the strides in personal development that have come over the past couple of years. Bipolar has affected how I interacted with others and I am now able to recognize this and make changes that are for the better.
Without the help of a wonderful therapist and psychiatrist, these issues would have proliferated. Each of them has shown me tips and tricks that allow me to work on myself. I am most proud of the fact that they have given me a way to express myself and my feelings without getting angry and defensive. This, I would have to say, is the biggest step in being able to communicate clearly and effectively with others.
Our two wonderful Shih Tzus, who’ve loved me no matter what I was feeling, are also on my list. Being able to have them around as a calming influence and to snuggle with during the day has been a godsend. Although I grew up with dogs, I feel especially bonded with Beau and Huston. I appreciate them more and more every day for their unconditional love and willingness to let me get their fur wet with tears.
Last, but not least, I am grateful to have a place to call home, food to eat, enough $$ to buy medications, my health and life. It is important to know that I have a safe place to call home and enough food to eat. Without effective medications and the money to purchase them, I would not be as stable as I am today. This in and of itself is one of the most important things for me. I am also glad to still be alive. I couldn’t always say that, but am eternally thankful to be given the opportunity to see my nieces and nephews grow and to be the awesome Auntie that they have lots of fun with.
So, today what are you thankful for? It can be simple or grand, that makes no difference. What is important is that you realise that you deserve goodness and even greatness in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Friday, November 22, 2013
The sound of silence
Today I am enjoying the first day of blissful silence. The roofers have finally finished. They hurried to get it done before it started to snow yesterday afternoon. The noise was so awful because they were working right above me that my skin was crawling and I was getting agitated. Even earplugs didn’t help to curb the cacophony. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I took the car out for a drive. It took a while to settle down, but then I was able to go back home and quiet the dogs, who were also agitated.
It’ll be good to get back to normal and onto my regular schedule again. That always throws me off.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Fe, Fi, Fo, THUMP
Well, they are still in the process of roofing our townhome. It is noisy as all get out and Huston keeps barking. We have put him on a leash to try and curb that though. Unfortunately there is nothing to be done about the giants trampling across our roof. Not even earplugs and music are making a dent in that cacophony. It is making my head spin; all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. Hopefully tomorrow will be the last day of all this craziness and I can get back onto my regular schedule again.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Life Sox
Today I had a falling out with the stairs. We are no longer friends. And I am iffy on whether or not gravity and I are still on talking terms. Being a klutz has its drawbacks. Yes, I fell down the stairs. This is not the first time and definitely won't be the last.
While carrying a clothes basket of dirty clothes, I slipped and fell down our stairs. It really hurt, bruising my backside and pride in the process. I guess I'm going back to the old way of taking clothes downstairs; I'll throw them over the railing and kick any stragglers the rest of the way. At least I'll be able to see my feet and less likely to slip again.
Are you accident prone? What are some of the things that have happened to you?
While carrying a clothes basket of dirty clothes, I slipped and fell down our stairs. It really hurt, bruising my backside and pride in the process. I guess I'm going back to the old way of taking clothes downstairs; I'll throw them over the railing and kick any stragglers the rest of the way. At least I'll be able to see my feet and less likely to slip again.
Are you accident prone? What are some of the things that have happened to you?
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum!
I have been dreading this day. Today is the day our association started the process of putting a new roof on our set of town homes. They started early this morning at 7:30. It was utter pandemonium. There is a huge dumpster blocking half our driveway and a large lift device parked on the other half. That means that Jen couldn't get out of the garage to go to work and my car is blocked by the dumpster. Thank goodness I am at my parents' place for the rest of the week.
All you can hear is the thudding cadence of the contractors walking back and forth across the roof, the whomp of them setting down equipment & shingling stuff, and Huston's constant barking. To add to that, we have my parents' two dogs staying with us. Riley was running around and wouldn't settle down and Rusty was yowling & howling. Jen said that I'd want to get out of Dodge quickly and she wasn't kidding. I got everything packed and was gone in 30 minutes.
The unfortunate thing is that they will be at it until sometime late next week. Holy cacophony Batman! Not looking forward to that.
All you can hear is the thudding cadence of the contractors walking back and forth across the roof, the whomp of them setting down equipment & shingling stuff, and Huston's constant barking. To add to that, we have my parents' two dogs staying with us. Riley was running around and wouldn't settle down and Rusty was yowling & howling. Jen said that I'd want to get out of Dodge quickly and she wasn't kidding. I got everything packed and was gone in 30 minutes.
The unfortunate thing is that they will be at it until sometime late next week. Holy cacophony Batman! Not looking forward to that.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Migraines suck
There are few things that make you feel as horrible as a migraine. It is one of those whole body events, like the flu, that makes you feel like crap even after its gone. Everyone who suffers from them has different symptoms and triggers.
I didn’t get migraines until I was well into my 20’s. Who knows how or why they started, but they did. The first time I thought it was just a horribly bad headache. It was definitely that and so much more. I took some ibuprofen to get rid of it, but that didn’t even touch the migraine.
Have you ever felt like your skull has been run-through by a piece of rerod and then part of it would burst? I have. It started with a sort of kink in my neck on the right-side just below the skull. As it progressed I felt the searing pain of that “piece of rerod” being shoved slowly up and forward until it exited directly above my right eyeball. That meant that I could now feel throbbing in the right-side of my head with every beat of my heart. Added to this was an intense sensitivity to light. At one point I remember taping a folded washcloth over my right eye in an attempt to stop the fiery sword from blinding me. I’m sure I looked like a bad imitation of a pirate, but at that point I didn’t care what I looked like. This “bad headache” was torture and I would have done just about anything to get rid of it.
It only got worse from there. I ended up putting on the darkest pair of sunglasses I could find as that fiery sword had started to scorch the sight in my left eye too. I also settled a baseball hat low over my eyes to shade them more (a loose one), closed the blinds, and pulled the curtains. There was still too much light, so I ended up crawling into bed and dragging the covers over my head still wearing the “eye-patch”, sunglasses, and hat. This was much better except that it hurt to lay my aching melon on the pillow. I don’t know how long I stayed this way but it felt like a lifetime and I still wasn’t done yet.
I finally managed to shuffle out of bed and noticed, to my delight, that night had fallen. I shed the eye-patch but kept the hat and sunglasses as I turned on a lamp for a bit of light. I was hungry and although I didn’t have much energy to make anything, I thought I could handle a bowl of soup. Campbell’s was the choice. Thank goodness for modern conveniences, nothing to do but open, heat, and eat. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was also hypersensitive to smells. So, as I am heating and smelling the soup I am also getting more and more nauseous from the smell. Off to the bathroom I ran. Oh darkness, my old friend, we meet again and I see you have brought a welcomed guest, the cold porcelain god to greet me. Bless you both. It was awhile before I left their comforting arms and attempted the kitchen anew. When I got there, I promptly sent the soup down the drain. I found and ate a few crackers, and headed back to my cozy bed to await my fate.
It took over a day and a half for the migraine to abate. After that I was wiped out, physically and mentally drained. Getting over this part took the better part of a week. Then, as suddenly as it had arrived, it was gone.
I know now that two of my triggers are stress and a messed-up schedule. While there are times that I can’t help but adjust my itinerary for different events or appointments, I do try to stick to a regular timetable in an attempt to keep migraines to a minimum. Also, one of the added benefits of taking Bipolar medication is that many of them also act as migraine blockers. This is just an extra buffer to help reduce migraines and their effects.
Suffer with migraines? What do you do to get through?
Friday, November 8, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes I call
just to hear your voice
because it is the only sound
that comforts me.
Sometimes
this is all I need
to make my world right again.
just to hear your voice
because it is the only sound
that comforts me.
Sometimes
this is all I need
to make my world right again.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Da Boys
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.—Roger Caras
Dogs are man & woman's best friend. This is not a slight to the cat lovers out there, it is just my humble opinion. Besides, who wants to cuddle up with a warm body attached to 20 thorny claws and needle-sharp teeth that makes you wheeze and sneeze?
There are few things that bring me more comfort than the love and snuggles of our Shih Tzu. I affectionately call them Da Boys. They are my constant companions throughout the day. I can tell them anything and they'll keep the secret. I've cried into their soft hair, laughed at their antics, and curled up with them when I felt all was lost. Huston and Beau have been there through it all, without judgement, just loving me because I am part of their pack.
When I was hospitalized, one of the things that cheered me up were the therapy dog visits and being able to have Beau brought in. He lifted the spirits of the other patients with his funny tongue-out smile and willingness to be passed around and petted by everyone. That was one of the hardest parts, being separated from Da Boys. It is as connection with no expectations but to love and be loved in return (I know there's a song in there somewhere, but it sounds really good and fits).
If you have a companion like Beau and Huston, let them love you and love them back to your best ability. Our goal should be to live up to being the person they believe we are. I get a little closer every day and try to be the best pack leader I can be.
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"--Dave Barry (author)
My boy Beau
How could anyone resist this face?
Huston
Bedtime snuggles with Huston
Dogs are man & woman's best friend. This is not a slight to the cat lovers out there, it is just my humble opinion. Besides, who wants to cuddle up with a warm body attached to 20 thorny claws and needle-sharp teeth that makes you wheeze and sneeze?
There are few things that bring me more comfort than the love and snuggles of our Shih Tzu. I affectionately call them Da Boys. They are my constant companions throughout the day. I can tell them anything and they'll keep the secret. I've cried into their soft hair, laughed at their antics, and curled up with them when I felt all was lost. Huston and Beau have been there through it all, without judgement, just loving me because I am part of their pack.
When I was hospitalized, one of the things that cheered me up were the therapy dog visits and being able to have Beau brought in. He lifted the spirits of the other patients with his funny tongue-out smile and willingness to be passed around and petted by everyone. That was one of the hardest parts, being separated from Da Boys. It is as connection with no expectations but to love and be loved in return (I know there's a song in there somewhere, but it sounds really good and fits).
If you have a companion like Beau and Huston, let them love you and love them back to your best ability. Our goal should be to live up to being the person they believe we are. I get a little closer every day and try to be the best pack leader I can be.
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"--Dave Barry (author)
My boy Beau
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
A state of disbelief
I cannot believe that Charlie Trotter has passed on to the next life. He was an inspiration to many and I was one of them. Charlie Trotter made an impact when he stepped into the culinary spotlight. Though I never met him, I made many of his dishes and practiced his commitment to excellence in service. The thoughtful way that he and pastry chef Michelle Gayer put together their cookbooks taught me much. So, to say that he was influential in my culinary journey would be an understatement.
I remember two things vividly:
I made the poached pears filled with milk chocolate custard recipe from Charlie Trotter's Desserts. It seemed to take forever to cook the custard, but when it was done, OMG. That was the best stuff in the world. It was so silky and the flavor was subtle and exquisite. Paired with the poached pears, it was a combination I would never have put together, there was incredible depth of flavor and the presentation simply beautiful. I still dream of it and crave it to this day.
The business I worked for at the time was a small, off-site, upscale catering company. I was given the task of designing and cooking a menu for a small party of eight. That was easy as most of our gigs were for 50+ guests. Only later did I find out that the party was for Julie Andrews (yes, THAT Julie Andrews!). The compliment that she and her guests sent back sent me soaring. What was it? "This was the best meal we've had, it even beats Charlie Trotter's." Holy crap! Huge compliment and it sent me over the moon for days.
The ripples that Charlie Trotter made will have effects on us for years to come. He was a trail-blazer and will be sorely missed.
Charlie Trotter's Death
I remember two things vividly:
I made the poached pears filled with milk chocolate custard recipe from Charlie Trotter's Desserts. It seemed to take forever to cook the custard, but when it was done, OMG. That was the best stuff in the world. It was so silky and the flavor was subtle and exquisite. Paired with the poached pears, it was a combination I would never have put together, there was incredible depth of flavor and the presentation simply beautiful. I still dream of it and crave it to this day.
The business I worked for at the time was a small, off-site, upscale catering company. I was given the task of designing and cooking a menu for a small party of eight. That was easy as most of our gigs were for 50+ guests. Only later did I find out that the party was for Julie Andrews (yes, THAT Julie Andrews!). The compliment that she and her guests sent back sent me soaring. What was it? "This was the best meal we've had, it even beats Charlie Trotter's." Holy crap! Huge compliment and it sent me over the moon for days.
The ripples that Charlie Trotter made will have effects on us for years to come. He was a trail-blazer and will be sorely missed.
Charlie Trotter's Death
Monday, November 4, 2013
Dang it!
Lost my whole post. Getting used to this "Auto-Save" doesn't bring me comfort. That's why the post was deleted. Guess I'll just start again.
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