Excessive Spending

When it comes to spending lots of money, people in the manic phase of Bipolar are kings/queens of their domain, unless of course you count those with a gambling addiction. This may sound trivial as we all overspend to some extent. Many of us with Bipolar take it to an extreme level (think extreme hoarding or couponing). In my case it was a $40,000 spending spree that changed the way I lived and looked at money.

Forty-thousand-dollars, the sound of it rolls off the tongue, forty-thousand-dollars. It is a number that doesn't make sense to me because I can't even picture what it looks like. Spending all of that dough within six months time is something that I still cannot fathom. But I did. Every. Single. Penny. Was it worth it? I thought so at the time. It made me happy, I gained some material goods, and enjoyed time with my friends. Now when I look back I think, "what the hell was I doing? That is one of the most bone-headed moves I've ever made." Besides that, I have no 401K savings for retirement and I got in big trouble with the IRS.

It all started when I left the job I had been working at for eight years. I know, right?! Eight years, that is unheard of especially for someone suffering with Bi-Polar. We aren't well known for being able to hold onto jobs for very long, but that is another story for another time. Back to the excessive spending thing. So, I left my job and was contacted by HR via snail mail and sent a check for the amount of my 401K minus state taxes. This money was supposed to be rolled over into another 401K or otherwise reinvested. Is this something that I knew or knew how to do? No way, I just saw it as free money that I had earned and could spend. And so I did.

I can't tell you everything that I spent the money on. The memories aren't all there. I will tell you about the couple of items that were important to me and I remember very well. And there was the pesky detail about the IRS.  All I can tell you about that is that without Jen's help I would have continued to ignore their mail and gotten into a heck of a lot more trouble. As it was, there were still thousands of dollars that needed to be paid to the Feds to clear up my credit and get a lien removed. 'Nuff said about that, on to the fun stuff.

Every gal needs a great stereo system so she can listen to Dolby Surround Sound while watching movies in the comfort of her own home. Never mind that DVDs hadn't been invented yet, we only had CDs and cassette tapes for music and VHS tapes for movies. I did enjoy my movies and music though, it was one of the things that took me to my happy place. It still does and most of that system is in working order on our downstairs TV system. Money well spent, I guess.

All expense paid vacation in Hawaii anyone? Me please! And, of course, two of my besties. I only paid for one of my friend's flights, but did pay for most everything else on the trip for the three of us. It was a fantastic 7-day, 6-night stay near Waikiki Beach in Honolulu. Did I mention that it was during the week of the Pro Bowl? When the Pro Bowl actually meant something?

There were Cheeseburgers in Paradise, rainbows every day, food-tasting for my cousin's new restaurant, a fair to wander through, Waikiki Beach to walk along, blow holes to watch and photograph, whales to spot, the Wyland Gallery to visit. What I didn't anticipate was how good it felt to actually let go, relax, and spend some quality time with friends and family.

Pearl Harbor was in incredible experience. To learn more about what happened there and all the men who lost their lives was emotionally moving. It was such an unexpected attack with so much loss of life. The cost was immense in both military equipment and human lives. I can't really adequately put into words the feeling of being there, out on the water, knowing that people had died right under where we stood. It is something I will never forget.

We got tickets for the Pro Bowl on the spur of the moment. Actually, about 15 minutes after we got off the plane. We hadn't even left the airport, just called from a payphone (remember what those were?) and got tickets. Crazy! It was Randy Moss' first Pro Bowl and N 'SYNC was the half-time show. As if the game and half-time show were't enough, we had a beautiful view of Pearl Harbor from our seats.

There were other sights to see and places to go. See and go we did. Off to the Polynesian Cultural Center. It only took 15 minutes to get there by motor coach, 15 Hawaiian minutes that is. We enjoyed the guy/comedian who climbed coconut trees, the parade of warriors float down the river, and were fed and entertained at the Luau. The Samoan and Tongan cultures are very fascinating. Interesting that they were thought of as savages, when it was the invaders themselves who were in actuality the savages.

Next up, a day at the beach. Off to Hanauma Bay with my cousin. There was lots of excitement about being able to swim and snorkel with the fishes. On the walk down she pointed out a sea turtle cruising around the bay. When we got down there we swam with red-lipped parrot fish, which are beautiful and a bunch of other cool fish. That was just in the shallows. We were battered by fish as they went after food that was cast into the water by a group of Japanese tourists. Way too cloudy and being hit by a school of frantic, hungry fish really isn't that fun. I took my friend, who didn't swim well, out into deeper water. We paddled around cool coral formations in the crystal clear water. It wasn't until we rounded one such mound and I came face-to-face with a yellow-spotted Morey eel that we realised our peril. OMG!! All I could do was back peddle screaming, "Eel! Eel! EEL!!" with my snorkel still in my mouth. My friend didn't understand a word as I came flailing out of the water backwards and right on top of her, nearly drowning her in the process. As I finally got the snorkel out and screamed, "EEL!" again, she finally knew what my problem was. When we tried to touch it was a no go, uh-oh. We were in about 20-30 ft of beautiful blue water. It was now, after I had been scared out of my mind, shaking, and peed in the ocean that I needed to be able to swim, dragging my half-drown friend along behind, and get us back to the beach. Obviously we made it, but that encounter is one that neither of us will forget, and she will never let me live down.

Well, that's it. It was a great adventure. One that I won't forget, I don't think, especially the eel incident. Weird how some memories can be so clear, indelibly etched on my brain, but others are forgotten or foggy at best. Oh well, money well spent. Although I still wish that I hadn't been such a doofus and spent it all.

Got a story about a spending spree? Let me hear it. I know I'm not alone in this, it would be nice to hear it from someone else though.

Night


Me with a rainbow coming out of my head: